I knew I was negative and have no hope.... even though I have money... I feel like I am buying something god doesn’t want me to have...

I am single( from a mother point of view, partner 68 me 36, he has his I want mine)......and want a child ... don’t care what ppl think of me, but I have been suppressing this need for 6 years now just to please partner .... now at 36 it’s too late for me... everywhere I look there is a loving mum with her baby, I try and suss out her age to affirm I am ok.... I see youngsters and think why the hell was it not right for me at that time when I ended things to spare other people’s feelings... now I just don’t care and would and will do anything to make my dead mother a good grandma.... I am sick and tired of pleasing others.... was it forced abortion or was it REALLY my choice when you have people telling you “ you have just got on your feet, why life hard for yourself, your job isn’t exactly secure.... well know I know what I want and I am gonna get it #nomatterwhatittakes

#surroundedbymales