So, I’ve never been keen on the idea. But I’ve never been keen on sex in general. I had a horrible first relationship where sex was forced on me quite regularly and I had some vaginal damage from it, as well as hating sex and dreading it too. Lots of unpleasant stories there, which set the tone for the rest of my sexual experiences. I’ve only ever slept with 3 people. My first relationship, my second relationship, and my current and third relationship. Second relationship was better sexually. But was very boring, but it didn’t hurt so it was okay. My third and current relationship, the sex is amazing! But, sometimes I think rather than focusing on is both ‘finishing’ I want him to be a bit more sensitive and not focus on that, but focus on us just being physically close. If that makes sense?

He’s always been a ladies man. I’ve known him for years, and he’s been about a bit! He freely admits he’s never had feelings for anyone he’s had sex with until me so it’s thrown him off a bit, and he’s not used to just going with the flow of the feelings that he has. I don’t really know how to tell him how to do that?? It’s difficult to explain, and I find it easy to tap into my feelings during sex.

Also, I seriously can’t bring myself to give him a bj!! I’ve done it with both of my exes. Never liked it. I’m fact I hate it. Without grossing anyone out, neither were particularly clean people so I always used to ask them to wash ‘it’ before i went anywhere near them! My current partner is the opposite! He’s incredibly clean, but for some reason I just can’t do it! I keep thinking I’ll do it, then when it comes to it I just chicken out! I’ve always said to my exes not to come in my mouth, because I have OCD I don’t cope well with bodily fluids near my face or hands. But my second ex actually did. And I never did it after that. He completely lost my trust with it, and I refused to do it ever again. Could that be why I just freeze at the thought of it now? And how can I get over it if that’s the case? 😩 HELP!!