Cried while writing this.

Me and my bf have been ttc for ONE year! I have been going through A LOT through this past year of trying, being that I had a papsmear done, like anyone else. And got labs back saying I had abnormal cells, dr did a biopsy and then went back for a leep. 6 months later.. I went back for another biopsy and still abnormal cells. I have done so many paps that I feel like my body doesn’t want to work anymore and have had so many labs done, always coming back saying abnormal cells are still there. Dr had told me that this should not affect me from having more children ( I already have 2 beautiful children!) but I really think I’ve given up on trying. Every month when I get my period, I just get more disappointed and sad. Dreaming of having at least one more. I’m not complaining, I’m very happy god gave me 2 children who are healthy and happy. I just don’t understand what is going on with my body. I’ve lost hope.

Sorry to anyone reading this. If it doesn’t make sense. I just needed to vent.