I was 38 years old and happily pregnant with my first child! Then, Wham! All of a sudden I start spotting, then when I go to the hospital to have it checked the spotting turns into heavy bleeding! I now know that that horrible thing, that happened on October 12th of this year was a miscarriage! 😭

I just found out about it being an actual miscarriage yesterday! And it is not been very easy for either me or my husband losing our first baby! I will be turning 39 next month and as far as I'm concerned it will be the most depressing birthday I have ever had! My husband will turn 32 in December! I find myself wondering several things! Was this cause because my husband still smokes and was trying to quit? Was this cause because I didn't get off my medication for my bipolar depression fast enough? Or could have been caused by the fact that my husband has to be on so many mental Rehabilitation drugs to control his bipolar depression ADD ADHD and several other problems that he has? I would never blame this on my husband I love him too much! But I can't help what Wonder what we did wrong and if there's any hope of me having another! I just can't stop crying😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭