I plan on announcing to my family during the upcoming holidays that my s/o and I are expecting. While I am very excited, I'm also very nervous and anxious because of how I expect my sister-in-law to react. Let me explain:

Over the years, she has vented to me about her frustrations trying to have another baby. My sister and I tried to help as she went through a miscarriage. We bonded over our mutual baby fevers and the fact that our spouses weren't ready for a baby(a second for her and a first for my sister and I). We shared a lot of tears for a couple of years. When my sister got pregnant with her first, my sister in law was very upset. The dynamic between my sister and sister-in-law was strained. Then, my sister got pregnant again a couple years later and my sister-in-law emotionally broke down and opened up to me about how jealous she felt. She felt as though they could never have a genuine friendship after that (it was mutual as my sister was so hurt by how bitter she became) . At the time, I understood my sister-in-law's pain and admitted that while I was also a little jealous of my sister getting pregnant, I was so happy for her and wanted the best. I figured she would eventually come around, but she never accepted the baby into the family.

Fast forward a year and now my spouse and I will be announcing to my family around Christmas (which will be the 12 wk mark). I want to include her, but I don't want to cause any friction between us, or ruin the holiday season for her. She will be spending the holidays with my family, and I don't want to exclude her either.

She is a good person, but her jealousy and strong emotions prevent her from having close bonds. I don't want to lose her as a friend because she is family and I love her, and I especially love her son (my nephew). I can even understand how she feels. While not looking for any negativity aimed at her, I would appreciate any advice or help at breaking the news. Has anyone been in a similar situation? What do I do?