I'm fairly certain if I weren't around my husband would never have clean sheets or towels, he'd be eating worse than he already does, and he'd smell like BO most of the time. It's hard for me to trust that he can take care of our little one or the dogs when he barely takes care of himself. Meanwhile he goes away for two weeks on business and comes back to a clean house, a hot meal, a well cared for child and two dogs, and me smiling at him because I missed him. I cannot fathom him managing more than a few hours alone and even then I come home to a sink full of dishes, a pile of dirty baby clothes, and the dogs not walked or exercised in any way. Then he disappears like me being home makes him useless.

Uncharitably sometimes I feel like this would be easier without him. Without him there would be one less person for me to worry about. I have to take care of everyone and no one really takes care of me. I have to ask him for help or time or any little thing but somehow manage to always think of his need.

One of my friends keeps telling me men just don't think like that and blah blah blah. That's bullshit because I have male friends and family members who do. He just doesn't think outside of his next few minutes but he's a dad now and has to start thinking ahead and of others.

Sometimes I wonder how long I can keep doing this.