Okay I’m not even sure if this is the proper group but here we go, I need a bit of insight on a situation I’m in, stuff about the past and now present.

When I was 14 y/o my parents had a hard separation and instead of keeping me around for it they shipped me off to my grandparents house in the middle of my grade eight year of elementary, now my grandma was really hard on me... she took everything away, my cellphone any social media accounts so I couldn’t keep in touch with any of my friends which was hard because everything had been taken away from me, I woke up one day and my parents were separating, I was being moved away to a place I hardly knew where I would loose everything I had. She made my life unbearable, I wanted to kill myself I felt so lonely, she wouldn’t let my father visit me or even call me and when he called the house she would lie to him and I and I thought my dad had just abandoned me, that’s what she made me believe. She would lock up all the snacks, I wasn’t allowed to go out with any knew friends after school... she would go through all my belongings in the room and everything had to be perfectly organized down to the way my clothes were folded. it felt like a prison. It got to the point where I took a knife out and started cutting my wrists in front of her because I was so messed up and she didn’t care, she told me to “get the fuck out of my house” all because I logged into my Facebook, so at 14, stranded in some country town not knowing many people and being kicked out with no way to contact my mom or dad I left to a friends house, my I ended up reaching out to my dad and he came to visit me and would drive me everyday 1hr each way so I could finish grade eight until my friends said I could just stay there to finish the year... I was so hurt by my grandma and our relationships as destroyed...about 3 and half years ago I found out my moms “bio dad” wasn’t his bio dad... she came forward when my mom became reallly sick and the doctors were asking about medical history from both sides so she ended up coming forward with this information and gave us a first and last name to my moms real father, not much to go off of but anyways that causes a lot of hurt to both my mom and I. I didn’t talk to her for a long time before the coming forward of moms bio dad and for a bit after finding out but and I’m now 21 y/o and have been in contact with her for two years... not close but I talk to her. About a year ago she told everyone she was dying but didn’t have much information and everyone was hurt and sad about this, turns out she made it up after talking to one of her doctors and asking how long she had and he had no idea what we were talking about... now recently my mom has said she’s dying again and talking about putting her in a hospice (end of life care) but I feel bad for feeling the way I do but a part of me is finding it hard to believe because of the lies she told us before. How do I know? She was just at my shower 2 couple months ago walking and talking, she is sick, I believe that but how just out of the blue is she that on the last days of life. Just a week ago everything was alright ?

Honestly any insight will help me at this point my minds stuck

Do I believe that this time she’s actually dying?