Static Cling

Set scene: 7 month old sitting in living room playing with his toys. Perfectly happy. Im sitting next to him and he is content. He is fed, clean diaper, not sick, and nothing wrong.

"Okay baby I have to go to the potty/wash dishes/put clothes in washer/dryer/make phone call/etc. I want you to sit right here for me okay?"

He continues to play while listening to me.

I take two steps away. Immediate meltdown. At first I would sit back down and just cuddle him until it stopped. Then people told me that is creating a bad habit of him knowing that all he has to do is cry a bit and I'll pick him up. (Is that REALLY such a bad thing?)

I went against my instincts and I ignored his tantrums. Unsurprisingly they got worse. He made himself gag and got a snotty nose all because I left the room for 5 minutes to use the bathroom.

So I started taking him with me. I would sit him in the floor of the bathroom or wherever I needed to be. Nope still cry. I can hold him and he cries. He wants me to be standing up. How can one take a shit while standing?

His dad can't help. We have tried so many different things. Me sitting in his dad's lap while holding him to show him its okay. Letting his dad stand next to me while I am cooking. Letting his dad hold him and following me for days on end.

Screaming. Clawing him. Trying to jump out of his arms to me. Making himself sick trying to get to me.

I can't even lay him in his crib anymore without him waking up because he knows Im not there anymore.

I love my son. I love him more than anything else on this planet but I am SO SO tired. I haven't slept because I stay awake while he sleeps. I haven't taken a shower more than once a week all while listening to him scream and cry. So much mom guilt.

He cries in his carseat when I'm sitting right next to him with my hand on him trying to distract him with my phone or toys.

I feel like I've done something wrong. My whole family is anti-breastfeeding and tells me that the reason he is like this is because he is breastfed.

They are wrong... right? I worked so hard to be able to breastfeed... I wanted to give him the best.

I didn't expect this to be easy. I never expected this to be easy. I didn't....

I just want my child to be happy. That's all...