So I have no where else to post this but hang on grab your seat belt , hold a box of tissue because this is gonna get super emotional ..

So basically all of my life I’ve known I had a brother .. I’ve also known that my brother passed away from a seizure the story from my (mother) goes ; I wasn’t paying attention he was having a seizure I thought he was asleep I came back and he was dead ... so long story short my mom plead guilty to voluntary manslaughter im young (just turned 18) so I had no clue what that meant and I didn’t want to I didn’t want to think of my mother in a hateful way.

Upon turning 18 I decided I wanted to connect with my mothers side of the family

I talked to my grandma and asked her why did my mother shield me away from this side of the family ? Why do you treat me different then your other grandkids ? Why is nobody in my family close to me ?

My grandma replies I’m gonna tell you the truth .. your mother and her boyfriend Dj(my brother’s) dad wanted to break up with her my mother then decided to put my 2 year olds brother head inside of the toilet and leave him there to drown . They said they thought it was Sids until they put 2 & 2 together

My oldest sister who I’ll call Sarah

Well Sarah shielded me from ALOT as well my mother gave her herion as a child liquid drano & tried to drown her in a bubble bath! But Sarah’s dad took her and she was okay

My mother abused me physically and mentally also verbally all my life so bad that I left at 16 and moved in with my husband ... my older sister moved complely away

& I made it so that my baby sister moved in with my dad when I left because I didn’t trust her

Now that you know the back story

My mother watches my daughter every other Saturday ( before you judge me yes I let her spend time with her ! I make sure there’s another adult there to supervise but I feel like I shouldn’t try to take away her relationship with my mom based off her past everybody else thinks I’m

Beyond crazy for trusting her and I just don’t know what to do anymore .. how can I say hey mom i know your a good person now but I just found out about your past so now you can’t be in your granddaughters life ??