Me sleeping*

Cat: I just need to touch you. I’m gonna scoot a bit closer. *touch*

Okay I’m going to poke you, but only just a poke.

*i scoot away*

Cat: “but you need to understand my love for you. *scoots closer* I need you to know. I’d bring you all the dead birds in the world.

Now, I just need one claw touching you. This is the only way”

Me: *scoots away*

Cat:*scoots closer* the only way for you to understand and to know with no question, I must poke you while we both sleep.

Me: scoots and puts pillow between me and cat*

Cat* scoots underneath pillow and reaches one paw towards me from under the pillow*

Cat: I can see now that you’d rather both of us not ever sleep for eternity. If you just understood my love. *pokes me* we would both be asleep. But I must have one claw in my paw poking you. Its the only way.

I swear this is how creepy my cat is at night when I’m trying to sleep. He obsessively but lovingly, pokes me with his claws at night. And is relentless.