Anyone else??

I have been separated from my ex for like four months we were together for about five years long story short it was very draining relationship except for the first year but I definitely did love him and we had children together. I have gotten used to not living with him but I cannot seem to let him go completely. Whenever I try to cut him off so I can give myself some time to heal, I find myself talking to him again. My biggest fear is that he will move on and trust me ladies I know how selfish that it sounds, it’s like I want him but I don’t want him but I don’t want anyone else to have him.

What the fuck does this even mean and what do I do to make this easier for myself?!