So I was anxiety free for like a little over a year, I literally could do anything. One time I was with my boyfriend & one of his guys friends then I remembered that I didn’t have gum (gum helps me not get panic attacks) & I started panicking & I ended up having one alone though. But i get anxious when imma see my boyfriend now because I’m scared to get one infront of him.

Then one time I ate some food that I shouldn’t have & my stomach hurt & i was like nauseous & I was like 30 min. away from home so I had to drive home & after that everytime I ate I would get the thought “what if u eat & get nauseous again”

& then one night outta no where I got the thought of what if he’s talking to his ex behind my back like my toxic ex used to do & he has changes his number twice so it’s obvious that ex doesn’t even have it anymore. Like last summer or so I think we kinda had an argument over her because of how insecure I was & he kinda went off telling me that he doesn’t understand why her if she was the one who he couldn’t even love or stay faithful to & basically it’s like I’m always falsely accusing him of doing something when he has told me that he has given me no reason why to doubt him.

Does it sound like I made my anxiety come back on my own? Like it seems like thoughts are what eat me alive. Atm i feel so low that it makes me wanna break up with my boyfriend because he deserves better, but then again I don’t want to because well I love him & I don’t wanna lose him.