Am I hoe? And do still count as a virgin?
Okay, this is an insanely long story so please bear with me here. So three nights ago I went over to this guy’s apartment to hang out. Let’s call him... Jesus. Anyways Jesus and I actually hung out and made out a little before I told him to take me back to the dorm at around 12 am because I had an early class the next morning. We had fun and when I got back to my dorm I saw he had texted me about how the next day I should spend the night since the next day was Friday and It was the weekend. I told myself it was probably a bad idea since I didn’t know how I felt about him at the time. The next night though Jesus called me and told me that he was on campus and had been drinking with a few of his teammates so he needed me to drive him home since I was coming over anyway. I told him that he shouldn’t go anywhere because I wasn’t going to drive him anywhere since I was staying in my dorm for the night and he had been drinking so he shouldn’t drive. Jesus then proceeds to tell me that he wasn’t drunk but he just wanted to see me so just to come to the car. I figured it couldn’t hurt since I knew I wasn’t going to go to his apartment and there was no way he would convince me. I get to Jesus’s car and we talk. It was honestly fun until I ask him if his roommate was single because the night before I had asked him and he didn’t want to answer even though I told him that I wasn’t asking for me but for my friend. To make him mad though I did tell him that his roommate was cute which wasn’t a lie but I mostly said it to push his buttons a bit. Jesus told me that he would tell me only if I took one drink of the vodka he had and I thought what could one drink really hurt? I’m a super lightweight but taking one drink would at the most make me tipsy not drunk enough to make any terrible decisions. One drink turned into him convincing me to drink a lot more of it and my friend called me and asked me if I was going to go to his place since I had been gone a little while. I looked him and he nodded his head at me so I told her yes I would be but that I’m only going for a bit then “IDC if I have to steal the car or walk my ass back but I will be sleeping in my bed tonight.” I also told her I was sober and was only going to babysit him for a while. He drove us to his apartment which is only a 5-minute drive from the school and I went inside. His roommate wasn’t home at the time and I went upstairs to his room. We hung out there again and some other things happened. This is when things start getting blurry because he kept convincing me to drink and I did. He swears that he took my virginity but all I remember is him eating me out and putting in one finger. I did feel him start to put in his dick in but I stopped him before he could actually do anything. I’m not sure if it counts or not but that’s a separate issue. At some point, after that, his roommate got home and he went downstairs to go say hey to him. His roommate was drunk as well and I decided that I should go say hey to him as well since we had met the night before. Let’s call his roommate... Teddy. When I get downstairs Teddy is in his underwear and Jesus is trying to get Teddy to get out of bed and go upstairs. I remember Jesus kept talking about how Teddy needed to go upstairs to “have some fun” to which I remember whispering to my cousin who I was on FaceTime with at that moment because she had called me when Jesus had gone downstairs that I thought Jesus was trying to have a threesome. My cousin was on FaceTime with me most of the night but after Jesus said that is when I realized maybe I should stop drinking vodka and should start drinking water so I tell Jesus and Teddy I need water. Jesus responds with “You don’t need water.” To which I tell him that I sure as hell do and he responds with “if I get you water you have to drink the vodka as a chaser.” I decided that maybe I should just go back upstairs since I wasn’t gonna get water from him and didn’t feel comfortable downstairs. Jesus finally comes back upstairs and I’m laying down on the bed on my phone. He turned on his PS4 and starts playing Fortnite because I guess he could tell I wasn’t going to have a threesome as he wanted. I tell him again that I need water and he tells me that I don’t but I tell him that IDC if I have to find the water my damn self but I’ll get it. He tells me to go ahead and I walk my ass downstairs to find the water. When I get to the bottom of the steps I see Teddy laying on his bed and I decide to go sit next to him and ask him for water because I did t know where they keep it. We started talking and one thing led to another where we started making out. I stopped it and told him that now I really needed some water so I could walk my happy ass back to campus but he said that I shouldn’t walk. Teddy did get up and get me a water though which is nicer then Jesus was at all but that’s not making any of this any better. I ended up taking Teddy’s blanket and telling him I was going to go sleep in the empty room they had because I wasn’t sleeping with either of them. He told me that I shouldn’t sleep there but I should instead sleep in his bed with him and took the blanket from me. I, in turn, took his phone so he could give me back the blanket to get his phone back. He dropped the blanket and instead grabbed the phone with one hand and my waist with the other. We kissed some more and I took that opportunity to grab the blanket and run upstairs. I tried to sleep in the empty room but realized I was being stupid and went to go to sleep on Jesus’s bed since he’s the one I came with. I laid down and was about to fall asleep when I hear Teddy yelling my name from downstairs. I choose to ignore it since I already felt bad about making out with Teddy when I had come with Jesus even though I kinda felt like Jesus wanted me to do that since he told me to go downstairs again because Teddy was calling me and “I couldn’t be rude.” I went back downstairs with the blanket wrapped around me and Teddy said he needed that blanket and instead handed me another one. I wrapped the other one around me and he took that opportunity to pull me back onto the bed. We made out again and this time it went farther then it did the first time. I felt so much worse so I stopped it and again said I was walking my drunk ass home. I actually opened the door this time and walked out only to be pulled back inside by Teddy and pulled back into another make-out session. This time though I knew I just need to go to sleep not be making out with Jesus’s roommate. I told him goodnight and went back upstairs with the blanket. I laid down in the bed and then Jesus hands me the headset he had on and told me one of his friends wanted to talk to me. Now earlier when I was still drinking I remember telling him that a lot of his teammates were cute and even named a few of them. The friend he was telling me to talk to was one of the guy’s on that list so I was very afraid of having to talk to him. I still put on the headset though and we talked, but to this day I cannot remember what it was we were talked about. I do remember handing back the headphones and going to sleep after. The next morning we ate breakfast and then I came back to my dorm and spent most of the day watching Netflix while remembering things and hating myself. I haven’t talked to Jesus or his friends since and am honestly too afraid to even run into them. After this really long story I guess I have to ask, Am I a hoe for doing all of this? Am I in the wrong? I know I put myself into a bad situation but I swear I thought I could trust him. Should I stay away from him? And do I still count as a virgin. A lot of questions and I’m putting myself out here to get opinions. Let me know.
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