I just need to get the words out of me

Today I found out I am losing my second baby. My heart hurts so bad right now, I love this baby I only knew this baby was with me for a week but I already had dreams for it and a name picked out. Second time around hasn't been as hard as a first time for me but honestly I don't think I'm going to try again. I have one son and I am happy with him, me and my husband are now considering adoption. I almost feel like I have PTSD from my first miscarriage, I hate looking at clothes that I picked out for the baby, my Pinterest boards that I made for the baby. remembering all the plans I made for my little sweet pea, my child the one that was inside me, both of them.  I get so angry with God why did he take them away from me?  With the first one I felt more anger, right now though I feel more tired than angry like I want to feel angry but I just don't have the energy to.