so I tried explaining to my bf why I may not be as calm & outgoing as other girls or why I’m just not normal to him I guess. He’d always tell me get over the things i went through (abuse & neglect from the man my mom was w not only physical but mental as well) you have money now but money doesn’t heal the shit you went through & he said if you think money can’t change things you don’t know life. He called me ignorant because sometimes I get stuck on my past and he calls me ungrateful because my family is toxic as f and sometimes I just don’t want to be around them I want to be isolated. Aloneee & at peace. He doesn’t have siblings or a dad present it’s just his mom, grandparents & cousins etc. his family gets along and stuff whereas mine doesn’t they just give me a headache so I’d prefer to not be around them doesn’t mean I don’t love them I just don’t want them around me all the time. So he tells me I’m ungrateful and selfish and all I think about is myself and I told him to stfu because he doesn’t know what happens behind closed doors and he can’t speak for me or on my life. I told him just mind his business and stop calling me names. I told him to stay in his place I was speaking on myself he told me that I don’t deserve shit so I told him those words hurt and I’m tired of it cause hurt is what I’ve been feeling most of my life & I’m already having trouble loving myself rn and then he brought up my past saying I thought u were over it and tlking about my family that’s when he began to call me ungrateful etc cause I said I’d rather be alone and not around them because how they make me feel. Then he told me I’m crazy and how he wants to let our toxic relationship go because he said ok idc anymore abt ur problems don’t tell me shit & I said Ok I was speaking on me not my family he brought that up but I told him he doesn’t have to care. He told me he’s too calm for me and I’m too extra so that’s why I thought explaining to him why I’m like that would help but it didn’t he didn’t listen he just kept trying to tell me who I am. I am extra I feel everything! Not from others but from him because he’s supposed to be my escape and the person that makes me feel good. Then he told me he knows the truth so he doesn’t care he’s gonna speak on it. He’s the type of person to know things about you & throw it in ur face like “that’s why ur a fucked up person” he went through nothing growing up besides having his mom work a lot so he was home alone most of the time so he doesn’t understand shit! He tells me he has more bills than me so his life is worse. I decided that I let him in too much and I’m not comfortable with that so it’s time to push him out. I don’t trust him to know me anymore so I just want to get rid of him. I told him idk if I want anything to do with him anymore & idk if I even want him anymore either I’m trying to break up because instead of listening he tries to tell me my life and just call me names. He didn’t even respond to my text of me trying to break up. I’m just not comfortable with him knowing anything about me when we first got together he’d tell me how his ex mom was fucked up to her and how she was tlking to him abt suicide and how she’s crazy etc & I knew who she was so it’s not like she was just a mystery girl. He said she was miserable etc and now I know he’ll do the same thing to me he’ll air me out to his next and as well as his friends🤷🏼‍♀️. I don’t let ppl in at all but him I regret. People don’t tell me they love me but when he did I believed him but now ik I was wrong. He took my virginity the first month we started tlking so we barely even knew each other but he made me feel like I can trust him. I was legal so I didn’t feel any way. I made that choice myself but he did keep telling me come on & then he said you’re just gonna leave me with blue balls the first day I came over. I asked him why did he lay me in his bed barely knowing me and the shit I come with if he’s just gonna judge me now & use it against me. He couldn’t answer. He keeps saying he wants to leave this alone but he’s the one deciding to stay and deciding to still have sex with my crazy not normal self & to still continue telling me he loves me. I told him if he can’t love me when I’m not sane or going through things in the moment he just isn’t for me. Life isn’t peaches & cream for everyone. I’m not like this everyday but lately I’ve just been rlly down & feeling like I need to be cleansed or something. I need to wash away the ppl around me I enjoy my peace & alone time.