I downloaded an app on my phone about 2 years ago and have met up with men I met through the app and slept with them. I would talk to one guy for maybe a month before meeting them, then I would meet up with them and half the time we'd sleep together the first day. I would maybe hear back from them for the first week after then they would disappear and I would move on to the next. About a year ago, I began chatting with the man I am with today. We met up at the beginning of last August and slept together the very first date. I told him everything about my past over the phone trying to sound cool, bragging about my horrible decision making skills I had when it came to men. So he knew about my past before we slept together. He lived with his parents at the time, had a great job, he was 22 when we met and I just turned 18 in August. He was the sweetest guy I'd ever met. He invited me over to his house, even though he made me sneak in. I would stay until 3 am then drive home because he had work and didn't want his parents to see me. Eventually we started fighting about my past a lot. He would call me a slut and make me cry. He called me a liar and always accused me of cheating when I've never cheated a day in my life. He still thinks to this day I've cheated on him. I have to swear to god with my limbs uncrossed that I haven't. Well in January this year he moved out because his parents hated that I spent the night pretty much every night and they used to have to bang on the door because our sex was so noisy. He has two young sisters, 10 and 4. So I helped him move in, he began to slack at work, I slept over every night even though he didn't want us to live together yet. He lost his job in February and got lazy. I quit my job back in November because he hated the way they treated me there. So neither of us were working and we began to get depressed. One night in March I was driving us around at midnight and we got into a terrible accident. I broke my hand and injured my back, he broke his dominant arm and suffers nerve damage. We both had surgery and are both still in rehab to this day trying to recover. The accident wasn't my fault and we are taking legal action. His wrist doesn't work the same way anymore. It's more than likely not permanent but he might need another surgery. He blames me for the accident and when we argue he brings up my past and the accident, claims he's unhappy and that I forced myself to move in here. Keep in mind the money I got for my totaled car ALL went to pay the remainder of the rent for the lease along with groceries and such. His parents are helping as well. I do not have a vehicle now. He continues to bring up my past, he says I've gotten fat and so has he and he hates how we are now. The sex has become almost non existent. He says the attraction is gone. He yells at me and calls me an idiot. 10 minutes later he apologizes and says he loves me so much and wants this to work. He says I'm all he has and he can't imagine life without me. We have been through so much and this is the only man I can truly be myself with. I am not afraid to be vulnerable with him but he knows exactly what to say to make me cry in seconds. The romance is gone. All we do is joke around like we're friends and kiss each other maybe 4 times a day. We still say I love you. We talk about moving away together when we get our settlements, but he still holds so much against me. I love this man with my entire being but he makes me question it so often. He says horrible things to me then turns around and takes it all back but it just continues. I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave him, I love him so much. The very thought of losing him makes me sick to my stomach. I don't want to waste my time. I'm only 19 but I want to marry this man.