I'm feeling overwhelmed I'm 9 weeks and starting to feel I cant do this

I'm feeling like I might want an abortion. ๐Ÿ˜’ I wanted to get pregnant but now that I am in realizing how difficult all of this is going to be. I have three boys already all in school . I'm hoping my husband gets his raise hes been waiting for. I would love to be able to stay at home. Otherwise we aren't going to be able to afford daycare. Even though I work there. I can't lose my house because I can't afford to pay for daycare. I don't know what to do. I almost feel if I had a misscariage is feel releived๐Ÿ˜ฅ I know that sounds horrible and I am excited about this baby. But I'm thinking I'm running out of time to figure this out. I'm 9 weeks today. If my husband got the raise and I was able to stay home is be ecstatic and not even think about this. I have anxiety and I'm already thinking about what the hell I'm going to do come march