I would like some advice on how you lovely ladies boost your confidence and self esteem?

I am EXTREMELY uncomfortable with my body since having my son 5 months ago; so much so to the point I have been telling my husband no to sex even when I am in the mood.

I started wearing make up again; I got my hair done; but still I just hate how I look. I know that appearance isn’t everything and I probably sound very shallow but I just can’t help it. I don’t want to leave the house without makeup and I’m still uncomfortable and self conscious when I have it on.

I have never had a stellar self esteem but I never FELT “ugly” I just felt like I wasn’t the prettiest and mostly just plain and average.

I have always had an extremely fast metabolism. So I have always been very very skinny; and have had an exceptionally hard time gaining weight. In high school I was bullied and had rumors spread that I was anorexic. When I got pregnant I was 96 lbs and I was excited and hoped to keep some of the pregnancy weight; and although it is the dream of some women I was back to my pre pregnancy weight 6 days after giving birth. Before pregnancy I wore a 32 DD bra and I enjoyed my larger breasts. During my pregnancy and breast feeding a DDD was too small so I stopped wearing bras. But once I stopped nursing my boobs shrank significantly. I am now a 32 C at best, which I have not been since I was 13. My ass is COVERED in stretch marks; which was another feature I felt okay about.

I feel like I look like a child now!!!! I am only 5’1 and being so tiny all around I just feel like my “sex appeal” has entirely disappeared. The only thing I like about my appearance at this point is my eyes.

My husband says he is still attracted to me and that he loves my stretch marks and smaller boobs; but I used to just take my clothes off and he was ready to go, now... even if I am naked I have to play with him in order to get him going.

I have increased my calorie intake as much as possible; but have had no luck gaining any weight.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. It is beginning to depress me; and I’ve previously had depression and I’m afraid to go back to that dark place.

Any positive advice would really be appreciated.