Last cycle, after AF ended, I was feeling unusually optimistic. I went out & bought me some new OPK's, picked up some Preseed & Geritol and a pack of Soft Cups. I felt armed & ready! Along with all this, I've also been taking Folic Acid & have continued to religiously chart my BBT. If you asked me a week ago, I'd tell ya that I never felt more ready than ever before to "get this party started" than I do this cycle. So now that O is literally just around the corner, why do I suddenly feel so bummed? This feeling of depression has crept in & I just can't shake it. I feel like all these things I've been doing are going to end up being in vain & I'll be left inevitably crushed again. I felt so optimistic, but now that it's finally time to give it a go & put all this effort to good use, I feel so discouraged. I'm scared of being hurt again. I'm scared of putting my best foot forward only to have the door slammed on it again. I'm worried I've been fooling myself & that maybe this is the voice of reason telling me to get real & pull my head back from out of the clouds. Has anyone else ever felt this way, or am I just starting to face the hard, cold reality of my situation? How do I find the optimism again? This is the moment I've been waiting & preparing for, but suddenly I feel so down... What gives??