Well last year he mentioned adding a 3rd partner to our relationship, which made me go into defensive mode immediately. I turned inwards wondering what I did wrong and how or even if I could fix this.  I spoke to him about my fears and concerns of what may arise and we both agreed that it would require the agreement of the both of us to find this 3rd.  Now I know poligimy is illegal, but being from the fetish side I know there are such things as poly couples.  So my question is how do other poly couples find their people if they do and how do you make it work? I've asked on other sites and most people get very hush about it. I really would like a true answer instead of going in blindly