Hey mamas!!! First post and first pregnancy for me! So to say I have questions is an understatement hehe. I am about 5w 1 day! 🙌🏼 This little ‘red lentil’ is an absolute blessing to my husband and I.

We are SO excited 🙃 however I’m writing bc I wonder if I / we are alone in our mixed emotions about our BFP. I / we are beyond ready (physically and emotionally) to be a mom / parents, but the mixed emotion comes in because we are beyond nervous that something is going to happen to this little lentil because it’s so early in my pregnancy. My mom and so many of my friends have had miscarriages in their first couple of weeks/months of pregnancy, so it is making me worry so so much that it could happen to me (as I’m realistic to the possibility of it) and it’s taking away from the joy of this news.

My husband especially is very guarded with talking about it too much and is trying very hard to not be too excited as he said he doesn’t want to get his hopes up or become too attached as he is also realistic that it is still so early and he’d like confirmation of everything when we go on the 5th of December to hear the heartbeat. I feel the same as he does, but I just can’t help my excitement and instant attachment to this little babe (it’s insane how fast the maternal instinct kicks in! I don’t know how to explain it but I just feel so connected already) but I also don’t want to get so attached and then I lose the baby.

Although I understand that miscarriage happens to anyone, I’m trying to let the facts that I am extremely healthy, extremely active/athletic, do not drink/smoke comfort me. I am trying to stay positive and rely on my faith in the Lord and that this pregnancy is in His hands, but I just am feeling very confused with my emotions and also alone as we’ve decided to not tell anyone (friends or family) about the pregnancy until I’m further along.

I am also so fearful that something is going to happen bc it all happened to us so quickly (we literally only tried for a month and got pregnant - and I know how lucky I am to have that happen as so many struggle with getting pregnant). I just feel like I’m too lucky and nothing can be that easy. All I have ever wanted (like so so many of us) is to be a Mom, and now that it’s happening, I am just absolutely terrified that it will be taken away from me. 😫

Am I alone? Does anyone else feel like this? And any advice on how I and my husband can deal with what we’re both feeling? We want this little babe so incredibly bad and I will be devastated if something does happen. 😞

Love and blessings to all of you and thank you so much for reading this and any insight you can provide!!! 💞💙😚🤗