To my 1st love,

I loved you with everything I had, I want you to know that. I had doubts when we were together if I wanted to be together forever and that’s some part of why we split. We had plans of having our own place and adopting our dogs being together every part of the way. The memories I have of us being together were full of laughter and tears. Every part of me ached in the feeling of us being apart. The coldness of winter reminds me of you everyday. You’re slowly fading in my mind and I can’t remember much but I still remember the bad times that really stung. You hurt me, blamed me, the feeling of being abused and used. And you still don’t see that. You don’t get why I needed to leave the situation for my own health. You still blame everything on me and don’t see that I was hurting everyday. You would make me apologize for things I shouldn’t be saying sorry for. Speaking my mind wasn’t an option around you, and I was around you 24/7. The old me was fading and I wasn’t being myself anymore. And I became so empty yet so full of hope after we broke up. It hurt me so much to end our relationship and you even cried to me telling me we can work things out, but I know things would still end up the same. And even the day after we broke up, you went off with another girl to the same places we did. Yet I’m still here 7 months after our breakup hurting everyday, trying to move on but no one connects with me the way you did. I know you’re moved on and living the life you made for yourself. I still have feelings of anger when I think of you but I wouldn’t get back together with you because I know I deserve better, I know I deserve the world and more, then to be with you. Making me feel worthless and boring. I don’t know why I still have these feelings but i will eventually get over you and I will be happy, truly happy with myself and being able to find someone who can appreciate me for who I am.

Sincerely, A