To all the people
To all the people that think addiction is a game.. it's not. To all the people that think it's only the weak minded that get caught in it's trap. People of money and wealth and fame get stuck in it's grasp. To all the people that think it's a cop out for the mistakes and wrong doings the addicted has committed.... That's not true. What addiction is... It's the devil in what ever form the chooser chooses... It takes everything out of you that you once held dear... Your morals your spirit your graditude for what others have done for you. It shuts out everything. Maybe for just a few seconds.. but that's what we search for. That quiet. Just for that little bitty time frame. Growing up I never thought I would be on this side of the fence. I knew what it was I seen it.. I even done some.. but I always had the power to say no. I always had the ability to look away and not feel anything but proud of myself for saying no. Now... I sit here after a 3 day binge that has taken over my house and my body all over again. Sitting here thinking about that quiet. Sitting here thinking how I thought addiction was bullshit. That it was just a game and only for the weak minded. Well to the people that think addiction isn't real.... It is for sure real. And more people than you think hide it and battle it and deal with it. More people than you think fight to go to sleep at night because their sober minds can't handle the demons in the back. I am living proof that addiction can happen to anybody. Maybe one day people will see... Addiction isn't something to run away from. It's something you have to face and will live with for the rest of your life... Right now writing this my nose runs from the thought of the straw.. my eyes water from the burn. I can taste the drip. I can see that little blue pill chewed to powder in the fold of that straw.. and all the reasons behind why I want it... Is for the quiet.