I am new here but would like to share my frustrations. Sorry if this is long... I will be 36 years old in the next few months. I have been actively trying to get pregnant for about 10 months. I say actively because that's when I started tracking but prior to that I was hoping it would happen. Before my husband and I got married a year ago we weren't using protection and thought if it happens it happens. After 2 years of dating and not preventing pregnancy I figured it was probably him considering he has low testerone, been exposed to radiation due to military deployments and has never had a kid. I accepted it and I figured I already had a child from a prior relationship and I was content with that. I also say I thought it was him because I had 5 pregnancies including my daughter... 2 ending in miscarriages and 2 I terminated when I was in my teens (please don't judge). My point is I figured I was fertile and it was him. Just when I thought I couldn't get pregnant I had a positive test last October. I was a week late and figured what the hell.. I expecting a negative. OMG! I was shocked but it was the best feeling. What a wonderful surprise. Sadly it ended in a miscarriage 5 weeks later. This would be my 3rd miscarriage in a span of a decade. It made me really want to get pregnant though and I want to so badly. I have been trying so hard these past 10 months it's not even funny. Its actually exhausting, frustrating and discouraging. I am starting to wonder if it's me or its just karma. I am also scared to see a doctor. I am kind of a hypochondriac so I always think something is wrong with. I am going to die of some terminal illness or something. Sounds crazy I know. I even thought I felt a lump in my breast 8 or 9 months ago... I actually did but think it was from imbalanced hormones from my last miscarriage. I got a mammogram and the doctor thought I was crazy because nothing was there. I just have this funny feeling. I am constantly bloated, constipated, pain in my lower stomach and sometimes I don't want to eat because of it. That might explain my weight loss in the past year. I am already petite so any weight lost is noticable. I am getting older I know. I also notice a great deal of aging in the past year and I have always looked way younger than I was but in the past year my skin is getting very thin and loose and terrible bags under my eyes but that could be the excessive amount of acohol I consumed since moving here. It gets lonely what can I say. It was getting out of hand so I stopped. I guess I don't want to hear bad news. I fear it. I almost would rather not know. I told myself I would wait for my AF one last time in hopes this will be my month after buying preseed. If I dont get pregnant this month I will get my womanly parts checked out. I also think it doesnt help I don't have a support system. I moved here a year ago and I really don't know anyone. I guess I feel a lone. My husband is here from me but sometimes I think I drive him nuts with rants. Lol. For those who read this. Thanks. Sorry if it's a lot to read.