Is it OK to offer to be a surrogate? UPDATE

Question

My SIL has been unsuccessfully TTC since a miscarriage two years ago. She is talking about giving up soon and considering adoption. She has never mentioned surrogacy, I honestly don’t think it has ever crossed her mind. She has tried just about every fertility option available. I would absolutely without a doubt carry a child for her. Is it ok for me to bring this up and ask her? Is this something that would be offensive to someone who believes they can’t get pregnant?
**Update**
We were in a discussion about TTC and I was able to bring up surrogacy and then let her know that I would be that option for her. She was moved by my intentions and wants to try for a couple more months, and if unsuccessful should would like to discuss the surrogacy option with her OB. Thank you all for your inputs and support on this! I will update if she gets a BFP or if she decides to go the surrogacy route.

Answer

I’d ask if she ever thought about a surrogate or spoke with her MD about it. If so, I’d mention your willingness to help if she ever decided for sure that’s something she wanted. 
The whole “im offended” craze is annoyingly out of control. I wouldn’t be offended whatsoever. Idk that I’d want a family member to carry my child just because of the repercussions if something went wrong. I wouldn’t want it to destroy a family, but I’d never be offended by a kind offer to help.

Answer

As a woman that has gone through infertility ya I do honestly find that offensive because there is absolutely nothing wrong with my uterus. But I don’t know you SIL. Is it her uterus holding her back from getting pregnant? Or is it her eggs? Or her husbands sperm? I would just say “I would do absolutely anything to help you with this...anything”.

Answer

Rather than just outright asking her to be a surrogate, ask her if she's looked into surrogacy at all. If she has and decided that it's not for her, just drop it. If she hasn't, then you can offer up your uterus.

Answer

Are you two super close? I would only offer if I was extremely close to someone. Maybe just tell her you would be willing to surrogate for her if she ever wanted that. Who knows she may want you to, or she may not. I have not been through infertility first hand personally though so I’m not sure if it would be offensive. I imagine if you are close and you were being genuine it wouldn’t be, but idk.

Answer

Unexplained infertility and ivf patient here. Nothing wrong with my uterus or any of our parts, but my best friend told me that she loves me and would carry a baby for my his and and I if need be, it was one of the sweetest things I have ever heard. Like Mrs.Chin said, it's all in the delivery. "You know i would do anything to help you get a baby, even if that means carrying it myself"

Answer

I would think it's a beautiful offer... if she has expressed their trouble to you she obviously trusts you with the information.. I'm sure you can offer and it could be something they could consider rather than having to "hire" a surrogate..

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It’s so wonderful that you are willing to do that, but I would tread carefully about bringing it up. Having gone through IVF, even well meaning suggestions can be very upsetting. Maybe just let her know you’ll always be there for her and if there is ever ANYTHING you can do, she should feel free to ask bc no “favor” is too big.

Answer

I would probably check with your doctor to make sure you’re in a position to make the offer. I don’t think it’s offensive to offer, but if you offer and then are not medically able to follow through I would imagine it would feel like another loss.

Answer

I think it's a amazing thing to offer and to do. You'd have to feel it out though because you don't want her getting offended or hurt by it either (obviously not your intent but it's such a difficult subject) . I think it's something you should ease into and get a feel for how she would react. Good luck!

Answer

When my sister was ttc I offered it to her. She ended up getting pregnant on her own though after she stopped trying.

Is it OK to offer to be a surrogate? UPDATE

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