My boyfriend lies about small things but stupidly
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years, we plan on eloping next year I’m beyond excited yet scared because he lies about anything (small). He says it’s to protect my feelings most of the time and yet that’s sweet he’s not realizing it does waaaay more damage to lie to me. And his sister has told me since we began dating I’m nothing more than “pussy” to him and the longer our relationship goes on the more he makes me feel that way and not like his wife to be. Even with sex it an eye for an eye but he doesn’t even try to make me feel good it’s like he just wants his dick sucked more. Or romance, I’m really the romantic one, I’ve always been the type to want a fairytale I want the man I want to marry to sweep me off my feet and then when I try to talk to him about all these issues he starts crying and saying how he wants to hurt himself (which he does anytime “I start a fight” and his sister always tells him and his dad it’s my fault and I’m gonna make him kill himself) even tho I’ve had depression and attempted suicide since before I met him I don’t put that on him and he’s a grown ass man he knows hurting himself is really to cover his tracks and end fights when he is wrong and he makes me feel crazy or stupid when I don’t trust him yet it does lie so how am I supposed to ? It’s so hard but I love him and want to marry him !
I’m so lost what to do ?
Ps I’m 19 and he’s 20.