Growing up my entire family has left me alone and has treated me terribly. My mom and sister beat me frequently, my brother raped me for years, and my dad didn’t do anything. Yet I managed to stay a brave face go to school and get straight As get a full scholarship and leave home. I ended up making a bad decision by getting pregnant to a man I did not love and my family (Mexican tradition) forced me to marry him. I divorced him and now I don’t talk to him but he has my daughter and I get her weekends and holidays. I eventually met this guy who is now My fiancé.

We have been through a lot together. The first year he put me through hell! He chose another female because that was his best friend when it turned out he had slept with her back then. I am not comfortable with this said texted me recently to take care of her man when I told her to leave my family alone. He has slept around and I’ve only had three partners in my life my fiancé included.

We also were supposed to move in together multiple times and also gave me a key to his apartment for my birthday last year but he took back living together even after I quit my job did not renew my lease canceled my electricity and packed my things. I was homeless he knew and he wasn’t phased by it. He said we shouldn’t move in because we kept fighting over having a family.

He did so many horrible things to me at this level including getting drunk one night and dumping me.

The next morning i sat in the parking lot after church with My two year old daughter in the back seat (on Mother’s Day)this year and cried my eyes out thinking how can this man love me if he can do these things to me so mentally I gave up and took a deep breath accepting it was over. On the way home he called me from an unknown number. I didn’t know who it was so I answered and it was him begging for forgiveness.

I didn’t want to I told him no family since he left his fiancé (me) and I don’t want to get treated like dirt. Of course I gave him a chance and now he is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me! But I can’t forgive what he did! I want to but mentally I can’t. I see a couch where I cried my eyes out begging him not to leave me homeless, I see his mean stare when I see him sometimes as if my PTSD from my childhood transferred to him. What do I do? I’m also pregnant and I know it’s probably my hormones making it worse but I never could get over the pain and it feels worse. I get married in one month.