Holidays

I have always loved Christmas growing up. I was due with my first baby Nov. 8, 2016. I miscarried my daughter. So that year, the holidays were quite tough. Last year I found out I was expecting and due Feb. 4th, 2018. I was very excited. I but then it was hard because again I lost my son. Then I was pregnant again this year and was due Dec. 19th. I lost this one too. I got through the holidays before, but this year just the thought of not having my babies leaves me in tears. For the past week and a half I have cried daily. I had such a good feeling about this pregnancy. I'm working on helping make my nephew's Christmas special this year. He's going to be 7 months old in a couple weeks. This will be his first Christmas, but it also would have been my baby boy's First Christmas. My son would be 9 months old now. What have some of you done to help you get through a tough holiday? I want to try to enjoy the holiday season as much as possible.