I would like to apologize for the rambling, I’m full of anxiety today.

A year ago I started talking to my high school crush (my now BF) after him and his previous girlfriend broke up. Now I’ve always had feelings for this boy but about six months ago those feelings grew stronger, I had butterflies when we texted for Christ sake. The entire summer we hung out and talked and those feelings only continued to grow and change, until around the beginning of October. I have a history of mental health issues and after a week straight of mental breakdowns (that are unrelated to him and I’s relationship) in early October, I stopped responding to his snaps and texts and the feelings slowly went away. I patiently waited for them to return after I recovered from the setback and in a moment of mania I confessed all my past feelings for him. Now we are dating and I have returned to my level headed normal and there are still no feelings for him.

How do I tell him I want to break up with him but still be friends. How do I explain to him that I wasn’t in the right state of mind when I confessed my feelings. Or should I wait it out and pray that they return.