porn...

okay so my boyfriend has known our whole relationship that i’m not really the type of girl that likes it when he watches porn... it kinda makes me feel like he’s bored of my body and it makes me feel worthless. i told him how shitty porn made me felt (because he has watched in it the past) but yesterday he opened his search and porn was there and my heart dropped.... he apologized and everything but my heart hurts so much... i’m going through really hard depression, plus my grandfathers in the hospital (and more...). he knows how hurt it makes me feel yet he did it anyways...... i honestly don’t know what to think... if he really loves me as much as he says he does why would he feel the need to pleasure himself to other women you know? (no hate please i know this is a topic that can go both ways!!)...