This is a bit of a longer story so if you stay with me, thank you for sharing this moment with me 💖 I was afraid to post in this group before. Nervous to think back, sad to feel this way again, but today I opened my heart a little and received an abundance of love I hope to share with all of you.

My husband and I live in a small town in Japan. We are American civilians who work with the Navy and our base has a small clinic but no prenatal care so all our care is done out in town at a local Japanese birth house.

The first time I visited this house, was one of the worst days of my life because my husband and I were there to confirm the loss of our first pregnancy. The midwive and doctor's were kind and supportive but I wasn't in a space to appreciate it. I was in a dark cloud of grief and confusion and a sadness I'd never experienced before.

The next time I went to the Birth house was two months later, to again, confirm the loss of our second pregnancy. My head hung low, my tears flowing, again, I accepted the sympathy the midwife and doctor offered in broken english. I left there thinking, will these ladies ever get to see me smile? Will there be a time when my head's high, my eyes are sparkling, and I'm standing tall rubbing a big belly and looking forward to seeing them again?

Today was that day. While I don't have a big belly yet, I was able to walk in with my head high, my eyes sparkling, and a big smile. I saw the same midwife who cared for me both times before and the same doctor who's just as eager to enjoy good news with me as I am.

As the midwife was doing the routine checkups, she asked how I was doing. I asked her if because I'd miscarried before, is this a high risk pregnancy. She could sense my fear in the question and she started to rub my arm softly. She began to tell me this story.

In Japan, when a woman miscarries they believe it is for a reason. They believe the baby for me, the one that chose me as their mother, the one I am meant to have, is afraid to get lost on it's way to me so an angel baby makes the journey first to then go back to my baby and tell them how exactly to find me 💛 She went on to say my baby wants me as it's mom so much, two angel babies made the journey and went back to heaven to tell my baby exactly how to find me.

There I was, crying again in front of my midwife but this time, they were the sweetest tears. My heart was so full of love and so thankful for this midwife to take the time to share such a beautiful belief with me. To ease my fears, to raise me up, to share the love despite the broken English, regardless that I am a foreigner, and without hesitation.

We're 12 weeks along and our baby is very healthy, active, and well. I hugged the midwife and doctor when I left this time so grateful for this day and this journey. I smiled brightly when I turned and said, " I look forward to seeing you both soon." 💖