This is a long read but I need to write it down somewhere.

I was supposed to be somewhere between 8-10 weeks pregnant. Could never get an accurate date since my cycles where 45 days long. Went for a follow up ultrasound on Wednesday, previous one was two weeks before that, and the baby wasn’t growing. No heartbeat was ever confirmed. Thursday following the miscarriage (yesterday) I started to bleed and it was consistent with 4th day of my period. At about 7pm, I started to bleed incredibly heavy and passing extremely large clots and tissue, the size of my palm. I would sit on the toilet and is would sound like I was peeing from the intensity of the bleeding. I was wearing adult diapers that I had leftover from when I delivered my son almost a year prior. I was filling a diaper every half hour. By 8:30pm, and almost 4

full diapers later, I started to feel faint and decided I needed to go to the hospital. My SO drove me and I almost lost consciousness on the way (white spots in my vision, blocked ears, cold clammy sweats and I couldn’t respond to my SO’s questions). The faintness lifted by the time we got to the hospital, I was able to register and then while sitting in the waiting room it happened again. I also had doubled up on the diapers and was bleeding through my sweatpants at this point. Finally they offered me IV fluids and I felt better. They took my blood and urine sample before telling me to go back to the waiting room. Almost two hours pass and I start feeling faint again, they check my blood pressure and it’s good but my heart rate was elevated. They finally bring me back to a room so I could lay down. About a half hour later the doctor came in and told me he needed to do a physical exam cause he suspected tissue was stuck on my cervix causing the excessive bleeding. He did the exam and a box of gauze later, he had removed the excess tissue. Finally the bleeding diminished but I was still feeling faint so another bag of fluid and another hour and I was on my way. I’ve never come so close to losing consciousness, it was terrifying. I’m upset we lost this baby but more so that we have to start over more than two months later. Hopefully my cycle regulates fairly quickly and we can get back to TTC.

If you got this far, thank you for reading.