I don't understand why my boyfriend is so mean, don't get me wrong he can be lovely but his so called "mood swings" cause him to be horrible. In the past he's gone to hit me, he's kicked me, spat at me, pushed me around and said very hurtful things.. I don't understand why I love him? Why am I clinging on to the good things. He's literally just threw my bad in my face and my nose is bruised and he always says it me that causes him to be like it and it's my fault.. I'm starting to believe maybe it is me? He's my first love but i hate the way he is. Every time I've tried braking up he's said how he can't cope and he will kill himself etc. I love him but I need him to change and he still isn't..