I’m 20 years old, and I finally stepped out of my pediatrician neurologists office and switched over to the adult. I know I should’ve done it 2 years ago, but I have a problem stepping out of my comfort zone.

However, I’m so glad I did. This doctor is more open to experiments with my epilepsy. I always thought my doctors would forever say no to the experiment I’ve been wanting to try for years now.

I’m going to be staying at the best hospital in my state, 100% off my medicine, and hooked up to an EEG. I know for sure that I will have a seizure, because my body has become so reliant on my medicine. And they’re gonna try to figure out what side of my brain is causing the seizures. From there, I will be considered for surgery to attempt to permanently cure my seizures that I have dealt with since I turned 13.

Another thing that I learned today that has my thoughts and emotions running all over the place, the medicine that I take to SAVE my life can cause serious harm to my future child. Whether I get pregnant knowingly, or whether it’s an oops moment.. my baby could form cleft palate, and/or holes in his/her organs.. including the heart. I have been prescribed folic acid to prevent this, even though I’m not planning on having a child.

I’ve always thought I never wanted a baby, but hearing this news makes my heart drop. I’m not entirely sure why. I’m still trying to work out all of my own thoughts about everything..

But please send good vibes & prayers my way as I begin to go through the process of trying to make my life more normal! 💕