Guilt over wanting more kids
Anyone else experience occasional feelings of guilt when wanting another baby?
My daughter is just over two years old and is my entire world. Though I have done some wonderful things with my life, nothing, absolutely nothing compares with being her mama. Motherhood is beautiful, albeit hard sometimes, and bring her mama is my greatest blessing.
And I want more. I have always wanted multiple babies. And she would be a fantastic big sister. She is incredibly nurturing and attentive, even at her age. But I then get these pangs of guilt. She would have to share me with another child; I would turn her whole world upside down; what if I get PPD again; what if I die in childbirth with her sibling... What if wanting another baby somehow makes me ungrateful for her? What if God takes her from me because of that...
Its completely irrational, I know. And it's not like I'll get pregnant tomorrow. But I just keep going back and forth between wanting more kiddos and loving our little family just as it is.
I'm almost 30, so technically I have time. But also, don't want to risk waiting too long, especially as we'd like 3 or 4 kids, but not one immediately after another...
Anyone experience anything similar?
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