Should I forgive my mom??

My mom and I never had the best relationship. I think she hated me so much. She would pull my hair, spank me with the metal part of the belt and she would force me to eat my vomit when I would vomit out my vegetables. My dad would try to stick up for me but she would always threatened him. I was always alone. I developed depression at 8 years old, I started to cut myself and even pray to God to give me strength to kill myself. Things got worse when my sister was born, I thought maybe she'll be nicer but she wasn't. I was still being beaten, I was getting into trouble got bad grades. That only made things worse. As I got older she would keep me out of the house just for being around her.

I'm married now but im still fucked up. My husband keeps telling me to try to make a relationship with her again but I cant keep a conversation with her without wanted to cry. She tries to be nice to me and pretending that we always had a great relationship. And I know she hasn't changed much because my sister told me she's treating her bad too.