I need somewhere to vent!

Don’t get me wrong I adore my my baby. He’s is my world but I still feel like crap. Being a FTM, is hard! I wasn’t expecting it to be like this. Sleepless nights, around the clock care, trying to breast feed, learning to soothe baby, and so much more. My baby is my everything but the feeling of losing my independence is something I wasn’t prepared for. Yes, my husband has helped but nothing like what us mothers have to do to care for our babies.

To add to all this, my husband has a huge hunting obsession. Since baby has been born he has been working and hunting a lot . I know hunting isn’t bad but I just want my husbands company sometimes. He claims the baby is super attached to me and of course he is. I’m with him 24/7! How can he be gone all day working and then be gone all evening to hunt . Must be nice to not have any other care in the world.

And at last the final biggie: My father has ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) he needs to be cared for everyday. Thankfully my 2 sisters have helped take care of my dad these last 4 weeks. I tried to come help my sisters take a day off. I brought my baby and it was soooo overwhelming. My baby wanting to be held a lot and feeding every 2hrs. My dad needing help and him feeling bad because I was limited on what I could do. I hate this disease and how it took away my joy of being pregnant and not fully caring for my baby without worrying about my dad.

Today my husband didn’t work and decided to go hunting instead of helping care for our baby. My MIL is now watching him so I can help my dad. I’m angry at my husband because hunting was more important. I’m angry because my dad has this disease. I’m angry because I’m not with my baby. I’m angry because being a mom is hard. Life suckssssss sometimes!!