I really want to get all this bs off my chest because I do not have time for it in my life! My little boy is kicking from the inside and the movement is reminding me to be grateful, however I heard some really shitty things today.

So my mom is the eldest of 5 sisters and then they have two brothers, one older than my mom and one younger than the youngest sister. My grandmother is still alive and old age has taken it's toll on her. She's turning 85 in September and there is a party scheduled for her. She, with all 4 my aunts, live in a different city and visiting them takes planning and financial effort. Nothing to complain about. However, my sister in law planned my baby shower for the same weekend as Gran's party without having a clue. In fact, we didn't know about Gran's party until I discussed the date of the shower with my mom. We thought that weekend would be the safest as the next one is not only very close to the due date, but SiL also has exams starting. So you see, there is a bit of conflict. BUT just so you know, the whole baby shower sitch is obviously more flexible and we are willing to make arrangements to move the date. No invites have been sent out. This is not the issue. It was the catalyst.

The issue is that my mom told one of her sisters that she might possibly not be able to attend Gran's party due to my baby shower. And my aunt went off on her, laying this guilt trip on my mom, judging her, making her feel bad about having children and basically being so pissed, that my mom nearly had a breakdown. Now let's sketch the background. My mom is helping my sister take care of her baby as daycare is not culturally what we do with little ones under a year. My dad passed away a year and a half ago, and my mom seems to be suffering from depression to some degree because she doesn't sleep, and she mentioned that there have been times she realised that she needs a cry because she hasn't allowed herself to mourn her husband's death. She doesn't want to talk about it either and clearly tries to escape her emotions by being busy all the time. My sister, brother and I do what we can to support her, but she's turned into one of those people who just give and give and doesn't know how to receive. Last year, around the same time, my sis needed constant care because of issues in her pregnancy, and my mom was there for her. So more or less around the same time, my mom could also not be at my granny's birthday celebrations. My aunt gave her shit about that too, not even attempting to understand the circumstances. Then, my sister is not married, so my aunt went off on my mother about that as well when the news of her pregnancy came out. On my mom's last birthday, her other sister sat at home crying, and texted my mom to tell her how she is failing as a daughter, and that she doesn't care about my gran. Bear in mind that these two women do not have children of their own. My mom's youngest sister does have children, and her middle son also has a child whose mother he isn't even with anymore, they live in the same city and don't visit my granny, and when things get tough there, they won't easily show support buy perhaps buying a loaf of bread or whatever. And my aunts say nothing about these things. Which is something I don't care about either. I'm not the creator of these people, so what they do it their business.

What I'm pissed about is that my mom has to hear these things from her sisters regularly. And it's about us, her daughters. Telling them off doesn't help because then their true feelings towards us come to the fore. So fucking insincere! My mom isn't perfect, but she does everything she can for all of us all the time. She looks frail to me. She's incredibly selfless and will sell herself short to accommodate your needs. She sends money to them every month and then wears old clothes. We took her shopping yesterday, half forcefully, for the first time this season because she's been saying that she needs some things. I just wish I could put her in armour and protect her from all this bullshit. I can't deal.

Sorry for the essay, but I'm hurt for my mom and I'd like to tell my aunt where to shove her comments and opinions.