Alright so, to make this story as short as possible, I’m twenty-four years old and literally had sex for the first time yesterday. I’ve previously had a boyfriend of eleven months who I never fully had sex with plainly because part of me didn’t want to at that time, but I’d engaged in basically everything except the actual insertion itself.

Anyway, being that I’m already in my mid-twenties I had zero expectation except I fully understood it would be painful for me at first because, let’s face it, I see my soul leave my body every time I have a pap-smear done, so I knew it wouldn’t be bliss to begin with. However, after a while it stopped hurting, and it didn’t exactly feel GOOD good, but it didn’t feel bad. It just felt like pressure down there and at some point even like my bottom was going to bust. I have zero clue if this makes sense, I’m tying my best here.

In the middle of it, I started bleeding which I know is totally normal; I’ve been bleeding all morning today too and I’m wondering when it’ll stop. I also made a lot of noises which I thought were hilarious and I did laugh throughout; he assured me that it was natural, and I told him I already knew, but it was still comical to me anyway lol

So. Neither of us finished, and his explanation was the following. His ex-girlfriend had PCOS and was also on birth control, so they actually never used condoms. He told me although obviously (obviously) you can finish with a condom on, he wasn’t used to it and that was something he was going to have to take care of and it was on him and not on me (clearly there are no other options for me lol it’s either use a condom, or we’re not having sex unless you uh — plan on getting a vasectomy) but he also commented that it’s a “mental thing” and was worried I thought he was sleazy because I asked him if he had a condom to put on and that messed with his head and performance because he felt bad about it, according to him. He texted me later on and thanked me for choosing him to be my first (the construct of virginity to me is some actual bullshit so to be honest it didn’t take any emotional toll on me, I decided on sleeping with him because it was spur of the moment and we’ve been seeing each other and he’s very ... safe, comfortable, and understanding) and then said the next time would be better.

Now, at FIRST, I thought he couldn’t finish because of me and obviously I asked him and he said no, the blame was on him and etc etc but. He’s a little older than me and lost his virginity when he was older too so I think that helped the situation. It wasn’t nearly as awkward as I was anticipating at all which I’m so glad about.

I trust this community and would like to read some of your stories and receive some reassurance. Do you get better with practice? What are some tips to better your performance? What was your first time like? Is it normal that I feel discomfort the next day every time I sit down or put any pressure on the pelvis area? Is it normal to feel exhausted once the sex goes on for a longer period of time?