Why am I like this?

So I am going to start this as I am not a relationships type person. Like don’t get me wrong I love the thought of someone being into me and loving me but I hate physical affection. Like i hate being cuddled up , I hate kissing, i hate being loved physically. And idk why. It just makes me feel uncomfortable. I am very insecure about my weight and I feel like that has a big roll in it but I know deep down I shouldn’t be ashamed if he likes me for who I am. It just makes me uncomfortable and idk if I’m the only one

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