I went out in the weekend with my friends, no judgement please.. we tried “party drugs” for the first time and were pretty messed up! It was about 3am the club was closing and we met these nice guys they were a bit older then us, us being 20 them being in their early 30’s we were having good conversations and ended up going back to their house were they proceeded to give us more drugs and said it would help us to feel relaxed.. later on my friend went somewhere with her guy and the guy I was with carried me to his bedroom, it was all a bit of a blur i remember telling him how tired I was and he kept saying I want to see you naked now then forcefully ripped my clothes off. I was lying there and he was having sex with me he kept pulling my hair really hard and was really rough biting my neck and whispering really weird sexual things into my ear.. getting angry when I wasn’t responding I was falling in and out of sleep. I didn’t once say no to this guy so I only have myself to blame but I wasn’t registering what was going on in that moment. until the next day now that I’m sober and I think back to the other night I have a sick feeling in my stomach and keep having flashbacks. Maybe a bit of regret. I just feel so stupid and so used by this guy who I assumed was way more mature with the act he put on when I first met him .