So I’m 19, and I just lost my virginity three days ago with my boyfriend of only a month... I don’t really know why I did it... I’ve been depressed for a little over a year after getting out of a longtime abusive relationship with someone else... so I’ve just kinda felt numb to a lot of things and just overall stopped caring about myself so much. I’ve made a lot of impulsive and crazy decisions lately and having unprotected sex was one of them. So we’ve done it five times already and since then, I’ve bled every single time we do it and it also hurts a lot whenever he goes in at first. I’ve also checked myself and my vagina opening looks torn and it’s kinda scaring me and now I’ve noticed I have this thick yellow/whitish looking discharge and it smells odd. I don’t know what to do. I’m pretty sure I have some sort of infection and my vagina feels kinda sore when I sit. It hurt to pee right after sex but it doesn’t hurt at all anymore. I don’t feel any discomfort other than bending down or sitting cause I honestly feel like I’ve been torn down there. I can’t talk to my mom about this cause she doesn’t know I had sex and it’ll just be really bad if I told her. I also don’t trust my older sister cause I’m afraid she’ll either judge me or tell my mom... so yeah, kinda freaking out cause if it is an infection idk how I’ll even go to the doctor about this...