Thoughts?
So yesterday I was down in the dumps, after meeting with my doctor I walked out to the car and had a good cry. I then thought about giving up, but why should I give up when I know my dream is to be a mother...I mean who can give up on their dreams or desires and why do we tell each other to just let it go and it'll come naturally; is it because of our mindset, stress? I then phoned my husband and told him about my doctors appontment and told him he had to take me out to dinner.
So what happened at the doctor? I found out that my husnands sprem count was better than average and that I am ovulating. So what's the problem? Why are we going on 1 year ttc and four years of winging it...and 12 years together? I mean it's quite impressive we haven't had a slip. Our desire to have a baby is big...we both want one.
The doctor said 95% is either sperm, ovulation or blocked tubes...so next is to check my tubes. But what about the other 5%? What about the millions of couples that want a baby and are in the same situation?
After accepting that it was my fault for our infertility...(I don't have endro or psc ?spelling?) but what makes that different than those that do...we are all struggling and trying to deal with the hope of "one day".
I went home and spent some time researching natural ways to unblock tubes. I found a few things such as massaging the pelvic area, taking ginger, and herbal teas but again I feel like this is going down the dark alley of false hope.
Next cycle we see if I'm blocked. But what happens if I'm in the 5%? Why is it so hard?! I'm praying one day (very soon) The Lord will answer my prayers. Good luck to you all and know you're not alone!
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