A whole lot of firsts and questions

So I’ve always been extremely careful in the past as I got off of birth control about three years ago (and started using Glow to track), but me and my guy have non stop baby fever and we agreed to stop tracking it and just try.

Now mind you I’ve been so careful in the past that in 10+ years of relationships I’ve never had a pregnancy scare. Quite frankly was wondering if maybe I was unable to get pregnant because I’ve never had a hint of it happening and told him I had that thought.

So fast forward to the last couple of weeks and me and him are arguing a lot over absolutely ridiculous things that do not matter 😂 so I snap one night and I’m all “if you can’t handle me a little pissed off over this (again something minute that has no real effect on our lives) how are you going to be able to handle me pregnant?!” Little did I know 😂

I assumed I was PMS ing and just having one of those super awful emotional weeks (where you cry over anything and everything) 😂 after a week late mark I decided I had to take a test. It came back positive, as did the second, third, and fourth.

He’s so excited, but I have so many mixed feelings, and I need advice.

I’ve been depressed for more than half of my life at this point. Everyone has ups and downs and I get that, but I don’t ever want my child to see that side of me... for those of you that have handled depression and children is there any advice you can give me to maintaining a positive mindset and not letting my feelings overtake theirs?

Is it normal to cramp and be so emotional?

Also I’m super cold, now granted I live in Alaska and it’s already 20° in the am, but I’ve been sleeping under three of the super comfy fuzzy blankets with my fuzzy robe and pants on in a room that’s 70° and I’m not getting too hot (normally I sleep under a normal blanket and a light blanket with a nightshirt) but I have just been so cold and idk if that’s normal.

For those of you that don’t have a good relationship with your mom, who do you turn to? I have some mom friends that I’m cool with but idk, feels weird not to turn to my mom right now even if we are estranged... I know that it’s a toxic relationship that I don’t need to maintain and if I did tell her she’d probably tell me it’s a mistake, but I just feel like I can’t turn to the one person I should be able to right now and it hurts a lot.

Anyway there’s a million other questions I have I just can’t think of them atm...thanks for reading this...