Known my husband for 8 years. Married 2.That's long enough to know that he has always been such a caring, compassionate, honest person. Has always has been against cheating and such. Any time I had a problem or was upset he truly cared and would give support. Genuinely. The last 2 months of our relationship were stressful. We both were busy with our masters program and had some family issues arise that put a lot of stress on us both. We were arguing moreso. He has ADD and has always gotten frustrated more easily than your average person but it felt like he was picking fights. Any way, after a week of the most crazy time ever, he left on a guys weekend concert trip. One girl attended. The plan was to hook her up with one of our mutual friends. I trusted him. I had no reason not to... He's never deceived me. This girl was sort of a plain Jane and I didn't feel threatened by her. Well on the trip he had a panick attack. He got very drunk and told everyone he hated his life and his marriage was not good.. It WAS good. Maybe bad for a couple weeks. He made out with the girl and got wasted the whole weekend and cheated (didn't have sex but still cheated).. His friends were disgusted. When he came back from the trip he told me everything. I was crushed and made him go live at his parents house. He was mean for a week and this girl was encouraging him to divorce me. What the heck... Then a couple weeks later he apologized and said it was the most stupid thing he's ever done. He cried to me and called himself scum. Turns out he felt unhappy but it had to deal with his own personal insecurities and stuff... Therapy helped him realize this. Any way, all summer we've been working on our marriage while separated. We've slept together and had a truly deepening connection emotionally too.We learned about each other and we worked on ourselves and he worked on gaining my trust. The love never felt so strong... Until about 2 weeks ago, he admitted he has been seeing both of us during this time. He keeps excusing his behavior saying he is messed up in the head. He hasn't slept with her (supposedly) but they messed around. He stated recently he is confused and loves both of us and doesn't know what "he" wants.... This is bizarre to me. I have solid proof that they've only been doing this for 3 months... And he "loves" her.. He is guilty and when he's around me I don't think he likes the constant reminder that he hurt me.

Do I divorce him? Give him time to figure out he doesn't love her? I know he doesn't. Ugh please help. I feel so alone.