So lost and alone. Don’t know what to do.
I’m 36 years old. I’ve been with my fiancé for 9 years. I have two girls, oldest 19 and she’s married to her marine husband (amazing kid) and expecting my first grand baby in June 2019(So excited), my youngest is going to be 11 in December. As far as she knows my fiancé is Daddy. She doesn’t know any different. I found out I was pregnant in June. Definitely was a huge surprise. Thought he was sterile since he’s 42 and this is his first biological child(a boy). Did I mention we have been together for 9 years and never used protection. First two years of our relationship he had cheated on me with his ex. Was completely heartbroken and there really hasn’t been any trust there because I’m always thinking he’s cheating. He’s not the kind of guy to express himself and open up to me. My daughter and I are third on his priority list. First his dad definitely a daddy’s boy, work and racing. We fit in there somewhere I guess. We have done counseling together and separate and help at that time. He is very self absorbed. Tells me I can’t do better. That pushes me to prove him wrong. Our communication is extinct. Throughout this pregnancy he shows attention only when we are around people which kills me because I just want to say if you can’t show me attention at home don’t bother at all. I cry a lot more than usual and Zoloft doesn’t help because the problem is with him and i. We have had sex a total of 4 times during this pregnancy. I don’t feel sexy or beautiful at all. I don’t get that reassurance. I tell him how I’m feeling and he turns it around on me instead of just holding me and telling me it’ll be ok. So beyond exhausted. Any advice? Maybe a different approach. I don’t know anymore.
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