I will start off by saying; yes she did ask for my advice (I agree that makes a difference). I have a close friend who I talk to about everyday, we vent our frustration with the kids, MIL, husband, etc, we also often ask for each others advice. Right now she is very pregnant, going to have her second baby any day. She has an older child who is now 3.

The boy, Adam, has a severe peanut allergy. My friend, Sarah, is very A type personality and completely took over every detail of Adams life to keep him safe. Her husband, James, is a great guy but very laid back and happy to let her take over.

The trouble is now she has a second little one on the way, and she is already driving herself to exhaustion caring for him and dealing with another high risk pregnacy. She asked me what she should do because the doctor is telling her to take it easier but Adam is rather high maintenance (He is a very bright boy but, because mom made him this way, he is very used to being babied. For instance, he will stay up until 2 am while she lays there with him, just because he knows she will.) Now she is exhausted and asking what to do so I told her "You need to let James help." She tells me well he refuses, well I know why he refuses it is probably because he is scared of hurting Adam (I am scared of hurting Adam). So I tell her you really must make him.

So she did and James went up to Adam and said "Goodnight go to sleep" and walked away. Adam, of course, cried and Sarah went into put him to sleep again. She tells me she is not going to let James torture Adam.

Now no one is going to change her parenting style, and James really should have done better, but how can I convince her to let go of control and let James figure it out? I really believe he can and would help her. He will do it differently then she did, but that is ok. Also I know her pregnacy hormones have completely taken over, so is there any point in trying?