I’ve been home not even one week with a hard recovery of a c section. He’s home to help for a month. Good.Everything was gravy.

I decided to try to BF and pump with this baby(third baby , all other kids I have formula )

Well. It’s been a shit storm doing it. It’s painful , im emotionally not having it, I’m literally feeding her and then when I’m

Done pumping,it’s time for another feed.

I have a fever and chills and can’t focus.

My husband is so freaking adamant I BF. He has even threatened to leave if I quit. Yet with my other kids I formula fed. 🤨

Well today I was feeding her from 5-8 She was cluster feeding and I stayed in my room feeding her. Pain and all

Well 8 pm comes and she’s still fussy. My husband is getting pissed off at me bc he thinks it’s MY fault I’m not feeding her enough.

He then proceeds to ask for the ready made formula bottles and gets mad even though I had a 6oz stored BM for her. Just needed to warm it up. “She can’t wait for that”he tells me.

Then he proceeds to tell me how I’m a shit of a mother, and he’s going back to work Tommrow bc “I’m not doing a good job” and “ I don’t care about my kids “

Meanwhile on top of it all, I have been in this house since 37 weeks of pregnancy so I’m

Getting depressed on top of that. I only showered twice since I got home.

His response is “my way or the highway”

Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Instead of being a JERK all he had to do it support me if I want to just do formula. Not be an asshole about it. Then he continues to compare some side hoe that he cheated on me with a while back about how “ oh she BF and her man don’t help”

FUCK that. I’m not and never will be your side how. How are you going to compare me with someone else and her body? Maybe she freaking doesn’t have pain. She doesn’t have a goddamn 103 fever. She isn’t borderline PPD. She isn’t ME!

All I want to do is cry.

And no I can’t leave him. Just had a baby and two other kids. I can’t just up and leave so spare the “ you need to

Leave him” stuff.

End rant