I left him and it gets worse...what do I do?

Thoughts of breaking up started in August when I was in the hospital having our baby boy. It was a traumatizing experience and I thought Todd would be there for me. Well, he was there, but not like I imagined. He kept complained about being there and feeling like he was having cabin fever. I was hooked up to monitors and couldn’t get out of bed. I didn’t leave that room for 7 days. I went through hell to have our child and it felt like he didn’t appreciate it at all. Also on the day I was going to be discharged his grandma barged in when I was going to nurse Nash and I didn’t feel comfortable doing it in front of her. So I told them both to get out. Later that day Todd said he lost his phone and it had to be when I kicked them out. He was angry at me because “I caused him to lose his phone” but it turned out to be in the Jeep.

Fast forward to when Nash was about 2 weeks old. Todd was going to come over to help with Nash but changed his mind later. Back then I was getting roughly 4 hours of sleep each night while Todd got a full night since we don’t live together. I begged him to help and he said “fine Ill come over tonight but then you better find a new boyfriend”. Eventually we worked things out but that really hurt.

Ever since Nash came home, I felt under appreciated. Todd would come over maybe 2-3 times a week for a couple hours. He would say stuff like “I thought my life was hell before I had a kid but boy was I wrong”. All I wanted was for him to say I’m doing a good job and he appreciates what I’m doing for his son but he never said it unless I asked (which wasn’t very often).

There were also a couple of occasions when Todd told me he had thought about hurting Nash because he couldn’t get him to stop crying. I told Todd he needed to take his meds because his depression was only getting worse. He would always forget and promise he would make reminders for himself but he never did.

Finally, he just stopped talking to me as much. We exchanged a couple messages here and there but it didn’t feel like we were a couple anymore. I came to the realization that we are not meant for each other. There were other factors that made me come to this conclusion but it would take to long to explain. However one detail is important to the rest of what happened, and that’s I wanted to have more kids in the future and he did not. He said I was crazy for wanted another child and one is enough.

Fast forward to yesterday. We’ve been broken up for just over a month. He got back together with his ex girlfriend about 2 weeks ago, and I found out he’s trying to have a baby with her. And it’s because he wanted a daughter and he wants to piss me off. Like I’m shocked. I feel like he’s trying to replace Nash.

There were (and still) many nights when I’m alone and Nash is crying and can’t get him to stop and I think “you were supposed to be here”. But I was tired of feeling alone. Nash and I have been doing pretty well on our own. I’m just not sure what to do from here. I want to change Nash’s last name to mine. I don’t want Todd to see him. I don’t like Nash going over there anyway because they smoke weed and cigarettes in the house. Any suggestions on what to do?