To My Husband

I love you, but I think it's time for a divorce.

We have both made mistakes, but you continue to make your mistakes. I cannot sit at home and continue to be the suspicious wife. I cannot spend my days paranoid about what you are saying and how you are conducting yourself with other women.

You say you're not cheating, however having sexually charged conversations and constantly referencing sexual acts to a woman that is not your wife is not acceptable to me.

I don't care if the rest of the company does it. I don't care if it's a man's business and you all talk like that. I don't care if the conversations between your female coworkers and your male coworkers are worse. That's their wives problem, not mine.

I care because it took your wife telling you that another woman telling you she has your cock on her brain is in no way, shape or form appropriate, even if said in jest. I care because you have previously had emotional affairs with the women at your work.

I care because I have to ask you to help me, to make me coffee, to buy stuff for our home and you of your own accord make your coworkers coffee and buy them lunch and even offer to fetch their kids.

I care because things you used to say to me, you now say to all the other women because that's the "industry norm".

I cannot accept you working with other women. Even when you are doing nothing wrong, I cannot accept you doing simple things coworkers do for each other because it's led to other things in the past. I don't want you to have anything to do with any female coworker and I know that's not feasible or reasonable.

I used to be confident in our relationship, but the fact that you have to lie about mundane things is a red flag now. When I ask you if you went to the shops and you tell me no, but I can see you spent far too much money at the shops just for yourself.

When I ask you not to delete your messages between your female coworkers if it's innocent conversation and you do it anyway.

And the worst thing is that if it's not her, it's just going to be someone else.

When I talk to you, you just keep spinning me the same story as if I don't know any better.

I'm sorry. But I cannot do this anymore. There is no guarantee you will be faithful to me. There's no guarantee I'll trust you again.

And I'd rather be alone than live with this constant fear, paranoia and hurt.